Friday, January 21, 2011
Yesterday we went to an unknown's lady's home and bought Remi this awesome train bed. We have been searching for weeks on craiglist for a Cars, Thomas or anything in between, but was unwilling to pay the crazy price for these beds.
We had prepared Remi for this stage by having Santa bring him a Thomas pillowcase for his soon-to-be big boy bed and talked frequently about how big he has gotten and how much he has outgrown his crib. Mostly due to the overwhelming number of stuffed animals he keeps in there, but that's here nor there.
We haul this bed home in pieces and since Joe has the day off, his job is to put it together. Thinking I know my son better than anyone, I figure this bed is going to sit in his room for a week (minimum) to allow him to adjust to the sight of it, but since he is now such a big boy. He hops in then hops out, collects all his animals and blankets and climbs back in. "All aboard." and "This is so cool." are two phrases he keeps saying over and over again. I am astounded that he is even touching the thing.
So after book last night, he runs to his bed and never looks back.
I can't believe it. Really, my son who has to look at a pair of shoes for two weeks before he will even try them on has jumped in this new bed with abandonment.
Then roughly one'ish (to be honest I have no idea what time it was) I am awoken with this blood curdling scream from Remington's room. I barely open the door and he is climbing up my legs.
He spends the rest the night in our room. Something that never happens. I really do mean never. Throughout the night we keep asking if he is ready to go back to his bed and he tells us,
No way Joseway".
Morning comes and he tells me about his terrible dream. Then wants me to go into his "spooky" room to show me exactly what happened.
It goes a little like this:
*A ghost comes into my room and peaks at me in my big boy bed and yells at me to get out of there. He was really scary, then he shakes my bed until I get out.*
Wow, that was some dream. No wonder he was spooked.
Tonight after reading our bedtime book, he starts to whimper that he wants his baby bed back. So we go and transfer all babies and four blankets back over into the baby bed.
He curls up and says. "Now the ghost won't be mad at me."
Okay, so I'm a little spooked myself now. Do you think he had a bad dream or really has ghosts in his room? This isn't the first time that he has talked about ghosts in his room, but we always chalk it up to imagination. Then I think about how they say little kids are more prone to see things over adults, because their minds haven't shut off the possibilities.
And whenever we play house, cars, trains, etc. the theme is always ghosts.
So is this something that needs to be addressed or is it simply a little guy too scared to sleep uncaged and out in the open?
I'm not going to push him. If this is just his fear, hopefully he will work through it in time. If it's the other possibility of paranormal, then I'm kicking some major ghost tail. How dare that thing scare my little buddy. He obviously doesn't know that Hell is in a form of a Mother that is pissed off.
Friday, January 14, 2011
As I'm getting the kids ready for bed tonight. Bella looks at me and says. "Mom is so fun!" Ha, yeesss! That's the best compliment she can give me, especially because I always feel like with her it's a constant monitoring, which could be interpreted as nagging. Just ask my husband.
"Bella, hands out of your mouth."
"When your done crying, we can talk"
"No more Wonder Pets or Backyardigans tonight"
"After you eat"
"Go pee before we leave"
"Use your words"
Second, what an awesome sentence! Whoohoo Bell's
I hug her and tell her I love her, she tells me "you too". Then Remi argues that no he loves me and of course they then argue back and forth with one word bursts.
over and over, until I grab them and yell "Group Hug"
Man, I love my kids.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
You know the saying, "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus"? In this house lately it is proving to be true. We have been having such a rough go at it and by it, I mean staying connected.
He is working 60hr work weeks (god bless him), he's flat out exhausted and run down while still trying to be a Father and a Husband.
That said. It's not working!
I feel neglected, lonely and resentful. Which in turn, makes me grumpy, bitchy and hateful. (Those might all three be the same thing, but I was really trying to make my point.)
We bickered all morning, like every morning. First he can't get up. Then he wants to lay on the couch until he has to take a shower, then go to work again. When I make him be with the kids, he either gets mad because they aren't playing like he thinks they should or just doesn't want to play with them, because he thinks it's boring. It's like a never ending cycle.Do,do, be, be, try, try,please stay, please go.
I'm at home at all times with the kids, who are missing their Dad and asking questions like "why" and "when". He says I don't understand and I say he doesn't understand. Um, okay. Glad we made our points.
We've been together 10yrs + now and have had some really rough times. Miscarriage, job losses, Bella's disabilities, lack of funds (beyond lack), depression, crappy jobs,etc.etc.etc.
In the grand scheme of things are we really that much different then most couples out there?
Is it all about sticking it through no matter what? Or are the matter what's suppose to wake you up and realize that things need to change?
I have no idea. My parents split, with an ugly divorce, when I was six. Maybe my mind-set is already made up that single parents are what happens when two people marry then have kids. Isn't it always after the kids, that suddenly the couple that fell madly in love with each other start having problems?
Usually because one feels strongly over their life and the other feels strongly over their family?
When we first started dating, I can remember that we'd finish each others sentences or say the same thing at the same time.
Now, it's not so cute when he finishes my sentences and lately he repeats everything numerous times in the same day over the same thing, work.
If I bring up a past subject, he'll say 'when did you say that' or 'you never told me that'. Which leaves me raising my eyebrows and my hands to the air wondering where the heck he's been.
I realize I'm no angel, far from it. I'm not even trying to insinuate that. I guess, I'm just worked up over it and figured I'd try writing it down to see if it makes more sense. I think all it's done is make me feel bad. I really am trying to be understanding, but damn it's hard!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
After 3 weeks of sick children, with myself included in this, Joe thought I needed a day to myself.
I dropped Bella off at school, 30 minutes late-it was our Monday-and quickly ran back out the door without much word to anyone.
I drove to Zona, actually called home and offered to have breakfast with Daddy and Rem's (mainly from guilt). Thankfully, they declined.
I decided that a pedicure and movie were in order for a Mommy day, but first a stop at Barnes and Noble. And of course, they have Starbucks, which is a must. I wandered around looking at every aisle, even the baby stuff. Enjoying the quiet. With the lack of my brain in constant motion tracking two children and solving arguments, it was a remedy for pure relaxation. I finished my Mocha and an hour later left without even buying a book. (Amazon has way better prices)
Then I went to ON for a new shirt. I shop with the best of intentions most times, but usually only walk away with things for the kids.
I found the cutest Cameron shirt. (Cameron from Modern Family) Only that is was a girls shirt and the Medium was too small and the Large was too big, but I didn't care, it was mine. I'll just dry it an extra long time...
Off to the pedicure, leaving myself an hour until the first movie played at the theatre. It was so indulgent to sit in the massage chair and have someone play with my feet and legs for an hour! "Do I want a salt scrub?" Why sure, bring it.
I arrived at the movies with ten minutes to go and congratulated myself on awesome planning, bought myself some nachos (with extra jalapenos please)and crunched away in theatre 18 all alone. Literally, no one was there. Weird, but also very nice. I propped my yellow flipflops that the salon gave me on my seat in front of me and chomped away, not worrying one bit about how loud I was crunching or the calories I was consuming.
The movie, How Do You Know, was just alright. Nothing to write home about, but as I climbed inside the mini to go pick up Bells, I realized I hadn't spoken a dozen words all day. No yelling,No stressing to figure out what Bella was saying, No information overload with Remington, No babbling to Joe, No constant energy exerted.
It was dang near perfect...A little selfish, but much needed.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I haven't written about Bella in sometime now. Mainly because she has been so dang frustrating and hard to deal with. What four year old isn't? But this four (now five)year old developed this crazy habit of watching Wonder Pets and Backyardigans.
Two shows on the channel NickJr...It's like Preschool on TV...so they say.
Anyway, this wasn't a wanna watch a few a night. This was, wanna watch hours upon hours,then throw yourself on the floor in fits when they ended or bedtime happened. In my pre-Mommy days, I swore that my future children would be monitored in their allowance of television time. TV will rot your brains. Isn't that what we were always told?
The joy she receives from watching these shows is unreal. She stands about two inches from the TV and dances, sings and talks along with them the entire time. At this point, little else was giving her satisfaction with her knowledge of her disabilities becoming more apparent.
So we have compromised. As in, these two shows are my ultimate bribing tool. I know, terrible, but it works.
Me-Time for Dinner
Bella-Nooooo WonderPets and Backyaya's
Me-One more Wonder Pets and Backyardigans after you eat all your dinner
Bella O.K.A.Y.!!! (she sounds out each word so cute and sassy)
Recently Bella's speech has made leaps and bounds with short sentences and correct pronunciation of words. I sort of believe it has everything to do with watching her shows. She is able to concentrate so intently on them and soak everything in, more so then if you or I was talking directly to her.
Tonight when I tucked her into bed and kissed her freshly bathed curls, I whispered. "Love you Bells."
And she looked at me in the dim light and said. "You too Mommy."
As I closed her door, I stood in the hallway for a minute, while tears sprang to my eyes and thanked Wonder Pets and Backyardigans.
That little sentence was perfect. She is content and that makes me happy in where we are at. TV overload and all.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Really? Already? Wasn't Joe and I just laying on the couch together kissing in the year 2010?
Well this year was a blur. I wonder why that is or maybe that is just normal for most, especially parents of young children. Aw, I remember adults telling me when I was a kid to enjoy my time/school/etc and that soon the clock would catch up to me like it does to everyone. Back then, it seemed impossible. Time, days, hours seemed to drag on for an eternity. What I wouldn't do to slow that clock down again.
Now, I feel like I stretch each day out to it's fullest and still end up with dirty dishes, unfolded clothes, bags under my eyes and wishes for more playtime.
I would love to promise myself that 2011 will be different. That I will take more time out to enjoy the little things, but life as it is for us, will probably continue the same. What I do promise myself is to pause more. When I become so frustrated/crazy/stressed/sad/excited, to allow myself a moment to pause and realize that "I got this, no biggie, breathe."
On another subject, I only set one goal for 2011. To become a runner.
Pure and simple. Running makes me feel like I can accomplish anything, relieves my stress, drips my sweat and frustrations onto the road (or treadmill), allows me to fly. As haphazardly as I've run this past year, I remain good at it and quickly fall back in to the routine without much pain.
So have at it~ I'm a runner ~ ha
(mini goal-I know, I said only one, but this falls under sub goal)to run the Trolley Run in under 40 minutes, looking for a 10m/mile or less. Cake? Right???