Thursday, October 15, 2009

Been fighting a cold all week, kids too. Had a scare in Bella's preschool class over swine flu. Yikes! We've had the flu shot, but not the H1N1 shot yet. So far looks like a scare is all it is going to be.

Preschool put on a play today about the three little pigs and the big bad wolf, except there were more than three pigs and the big bad wolf is a real sweet-heart. Bella was a pig. We had worked on shaky her head "no" after the wolf was suppose to knock on the door, but yet when it came time today her fingers were stuffed in the mouth and participation was limited. Not sure if this is an age thing or a disabled thing. Maybe a little of both.

After Bella's transfusion at the hospital did some finagling around vehicles with my Mom and I stayed at the hospital to visit with one of Bella's classmates and his family that was in the ER. Now, we've had our fair share of ER visits, but that doesn't make it any easier when you walk into the room and the little kiddo is laying there without being his usual happy self.
Felt out of place, but yet right where I needed to be.
It's funny how people can come in and out of your lives and touch us so deeply without ever knowing so.

Did anyone read the article on CNN about the woman who only used half her brain and was doing amazing? I posted it on facebook and only did so because I couldn't believe what I had read and wanted to share with everyone. Joe and I sometimes will spend nights talking about Bella and how much she is affected in daily rituals that so many take for advantage and I usually end up crying and worrying about her future and what it will hold for her, but this article gave me so much hope. I just wanted to reach through the computer and give that girl a big hug for being such an inspiration and for sharing her story.

Did the bedtime thing by myself tonight with the kids since Joe is working at his second job for the next 5 nights in a row. Kind of got to me when I kissed him goodbye. I might have got a little teary-eyed and I might have hung on to the hug a tad long. I just don't understand where we went wrong in life. Why can he not find the "job"? We are down to bare bones here and we still are struggling. I know we are not alone in this fight, but man, as you are living it, it sure feels like a lonely road.

Well, I think on nights like these when I can just rattle on forever it is best to cut rope and go home.
So goodnight till we meet again.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Day Whatever.

Well, so much for the daily blogging. How do you keep up Sean Anderson? Might try for a weekly blog and see if I can commit to that.
I think I purposefully have not been writing because I have been so upset with myself and how I have been acting. Yuck and double yuck. I have been acting like I'm a sole mission to replace all this weight lost in one week and my moods have been gutter-like to match.

Today I have made a re-re-commitment to myself to try and do better. That's right there are really two Re's to the commitment. The weather has been perfect for running, yet I haven't run for a week. I have healthy food stocked in my fridge, but still order out. And the new size 6 jeans I had to buy are now too snug to fit, unless the muffin-top would come back in style. Yep, time to recommit to myself.

So far so good for the day. Even with Bella waking up at 5:30am to start the day, which usually makes me grumpy and the dogs going rounds with each other, managed not to compensate with a burger and fry for lunch.
So I need to plan for dinner before the day gets much later because this is my downfall. Oops it's 6pm and I have nothing fixed. Pizza it is! Not today...

On another note, Joe started his weekend job this past weekend and it wasn't that terrible for either one of us. Okay so Friday night was no biggie. I was reading my book and was so engrossed that the time flew by before I realized it was time for him to be home. Saturday was a little different. We had fought all day about kids and money which left me drained and wanting some peace, but once the kids were asleep I was so pent up that I couldn't seem to concentrate on any one thing in particular. Watched a movie, read through my emails, searched houses in Washington, stayed up until he got home at midnight. Ugh! With children that never sleep in, this will not be a great habit to form.

Hoping today brings great news on the Home front for his job search, but since I can't find my cell phone for the life of me, I'll just have to wait until he gets home tonight. Which makes the saying, no news is good news. Right?