My Little Green Duck

Yesterday afternoon after Joe got off work we headed over to my Mom's to go swimming in her pool. I wasn't really looking forward to this on this particular day. It had been a long and exhausting day and the kids were both grumpy right along with me. The pool was revitalizing! The water was the perfect temperature and even Remington, who is not much of a water bug yet, seemed to be enjoying himself.

This past weekend Bella had started jumping off the edge as we would catch her before she went under and this would delight her for hours, but yesterday as she kept pushing herself off the edge and away from the ladder she would start kicking like there was no tomorrow. Mostly this was working, at least enough it seemed to spark a hope in her that maybe she could swim. So over and over again she would push herself away from the ladder and slowly sink under the water.
This was enough to make me a tad nervous and excited, so I mentioned to her that Jared, her cousin, had a vest that he wore to help him stay afloat so he could swim.
Now, we have tried this vest many times before in the past and she has never been successful with it nor loved wearing it, but yesterday was different.
We tried the vest on, it was bright green with a zipper in the back, and she immediately jumped in and started kicking away, but this time, she was able to swim without sinking. Bella started giggling and yelling, "Momma, Dadda".
And that was that...she became my little swimmer!

I kept telling her she was just like a turtle in her little green vest and it took me a second to realize what she was trying to tell me. When I would call her a turtle she would shake her head no and say "Mom" and her hand was signing under the water "Duck". When I finally put them all together, I asked her if she wanted to be a green duck not a turtle and she said "shyeah", and swam away (with me trailing behind laughing)

On the car ride home through very sleepy eyes she kept saying "Mom, grrr "(thats her grandma Dee) and signing 'green' 'duck'. I would say, "Yes, Bella you were a green duck in Grandma Dee's Pool", and she would say yeah and go back to listening to her music.

So here's to you my Little Green Duck. I am so proud of you!!! I love you!

Today is my Birthday!

Today is my birthday. I know, whoohoo right? Well, for me Birthdays are a big thing and this year is no different. I turned 29 today. This is kind of a mixed one for me on many levels. I feel for one that my youth is gone, my last year in my twenties. Where am I? What do I have to say for myself? On the other hand, I am so glad that this is my last year in my twenties. Do you know how many times I'll be in a great conversation and someone will mention age and completely shut down when they find out I'm only twenty-whatever. Like I am too young to know or understand life or that my opinion is cheapned because I am not the same as them.

Every year as it approached our birthdays my Mom would always tell my Sister and I that whatever we wanted to do or eat was our choice, for the whole day, it was our special day.
I was always a lucky summer birthday, unlike my sister who is a January and always ice'd out of having a birthday party. Nope, not mine. The hotter the better. That just meant more swimming, more ice-cream and more reasons why we had later bedtimes. Still means the same things to me today, expect so far the kids still have to go to bed at the same time, so I can enjoy a later bedtime by myself with my Husband...

It also meant that it was almost Fourth of July. Which is one of my most favorite holidays. Growing up we always spent Fourth of July down at my Grandma's house. Those were some of the best memories that I have of growing up. All my Aunt's, Uncle's and Cousins would be over sprawled out on the front lawn under the shade trees either on blankets with the babies or sitting in the old green chairs that would leave color marks on your clothes.
We would eat watermelon that was always so cold and juicy and drink ice cold pop (no name brands, just orange, grape and cherry) that was stuck on ice in a big metal tub and run in and out of the house collecting bottle rockets and black cats, until it was dark and then all my Uncle's would file into the country road and start setting up the big displays. Which, were by todays standards probably not very big, but back then to me they seemed marvelous. Yep, those were the days!!!

So bring on the celebrations! Today is my birthday. My one day a year that is all mine! Guess, what I'm gonna do?
Go swimming, eat ice-cream (cake) and stay up past my bedtime. Some things never change no matter what the age! I'll worry tomorrow about what I'm going to do with my life and where I want to be in the next 5-10 years

My Mom Moments

So, my day started off a tad rough. Kids wanted to sleep in, refused to eat breakfast, stuck in traffic, missed my exit due to a traffic jam on the way to preschool. All this equaled super late getting Bella to school and one very frazzled mom with a cranky, post-day shot, given one year old in the back seat. I pull through McDonalds and order a large Non-fat, Sugar Free Vanilla Cappuccino (yes, still trying to lose another 15 pounds) and hope this keeps me from quitting my poor paying excuse for a job, called SAHM, or housewife, or full-time Mommy (whatever title you want to give it). The drive back home is soothed by the warmth of the liquid and further soothed by the 100% whole wheat toasted english muffin with sugar- free jelly. Now my day is starting to look up. I think I actually sigh out loud.
One year old, Remington, is now happy toddling around playing with toys without fighting for the right to them. I'm sitting on the couch watching a dvr'd recording of Jack Hanna (love that guy and his awesome job that I could totally do in another life).
I mellow out competely and quit feeling sorry for myself before the caffenine kicks in and sends me in overdrive. I vacuum the entire upstairs, start a load of clothes, clean both kids rooms and play with Remington. By the time 11am rolled around and it was time to head back to school to pick up Bella I was beginning to think I had this mommy thing down, I just needed doses of caffeine to help complete me.

After a always crazy lunch of mix/match items and sharing with the dogs (3 spoiled weiner dogs) I start to clean up the kitchen. Bella goes upstairs and out the doggie door and Remi is content playing in the kitchen with me. I usually don't worry to much about Bella being outside for a few minutes by herself. We have a fenced in yard, as baby-proofed as a yard gets, with lots of toys to play with.
Soon I hear Bella clumping back down the stairs and when she gets to the bottom says, "Yeah Mom." *

*Isabella has many abbrivations after her name CP (Cerebral Palsy), PVL (Periventricular Leukomalacia), CVI (Cortical Visual Impairement) and CA (Congenital Afibrinogenemia, okay so this one, I made up the abbrivation) so basically she is severaly disabled but is amazing at the progress she has made and continues to make. Speech is one of the slowest ones to come along.

I turn to see what she is "yeahing" and immediately notice no diaper and the smell of poop. "Bella did you poop?" As if this is a question I need to ask at this point, but figure if she becomes aware of the fact of, maybe it will further along the potty training process. Her legs have poop on them, her hands are covered, a few spots on the face and of course her rear end.
She replies with her usual, "ahhuu". The first intial response is to spank her. Doesn't she know better than this? I quickly decide that the answer is, no, she doesn't know better or she wouldn't have come down the stairs so proud of herself. So my second response is just automatic clean up mode. Don't think, just do!
I grab hold of her and carry her carefully up the stairs and into our bedroom in search of the missing diaper which is outside and being inspected closely by a dog. "Bella stay right here and don't move or touch anything," I say as I rush out and save the diaper or save the dog (depends how you look at that one) then grab Bella and push her towards the shower.
The smell is beyond pleasant as I close the door and watch as Remi bangs on the shower door wondering why he has been left out of the water play.
I wash her throughly, twice and finally slide open the door for Remington to join us which he happily climbs in as I remove his diaper (which he has pooped in too at this time). So the process starts over, wash twice with Dad's body wash and throw in hair shampoos and conditioners while I'm at it, then scrub down the shower and make sure it is clean again.

I wonder if this is normal everyday mommy moments? Is this just part of being a Mother to a diabled child? Will Bella ever get that when you poop it is suppose to be in the potty and then flushed without touching it?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions or the many more that float around in my head 24/7 but I have decided to start blogging about them. Hopefully someone out there understands me and what I am going through and can provide some answers or much needed advice.